You Can't Fool with Spirituality

I'm growing convinced that no one is reading this blog, but honestly, it feels good to be writing again, so alas, I'll just keep on keeping on.

The day began pretty bleak--I forced myself NOT to text/call/or email the famous client, though all week I've been thinking about him and making myself come; my other lover, the political consultant, is MIA and I'm sick of waiting for him to find an opening in his "jammed" schedule, so unbeknownst to him, he's out, so I did went to my tried to true: I went to the Bronx to have my cards read by the Spanish women at the Botanica and bought love candles. I have to go back on Wednesday to be "cleansed." AND, I posted an ad on Craigslist for a lover--of course, I got a ton of responses and wrote back a comprehensive mass email to the few people whose responses I liked and haven't heard back from any of them. Of course, it is Friday night, and I may be the only one who is home in bed with their dog.

During my reading, I was asking about the "Cuban" and the "Jew"--this is how I differentiate between the two men that I want to be with--the Cuban who is married but I cannot pass up the opportunity to have an affair with him, and the Jew who I want to marry. Liz, who read my cards, got frustrated with me--confused and she pointedly asked me who I want. "You cannot fool with spirituality"--and apparently, spirituality doesn't approve polyamory.

My plan seems so straightforward--I want to have an affair with the Cuban, while I follow the Jew and get back together with him. I told her this complicated scenario about having the Cuban's child and raising it with the Jew. I made it confusing for Liz and I asked too many questions and she got annoyed because I wasn't taking it seriously--I was playing a 'what if' with the spirit world. And she told me to choose. For nearly 3 years, I've been choosing the Jew and now I chose the Cuban--the wrong person, the one who is the opposite for me, that won't last forever--the one with repercussions.

In the meantime, while they are in their respective homes, neither of which are New York, I am seeking out that guy who will have afternoons free, who will do dirty things, not want to sleep over, who will pretend we're dating for 2 hours a week and not get in the way of the Cuban or the Jew. And, I will continue to light candle, say my prayers and take Spirituality very seriously (even though the Spirit world doesn't approve of my slutness.)

Happy Friday night!, reader (s).